An INterview

Photo By: Chris Killingsworth Photography // Venue: Big Bear Lake // Planner: Family

With permission from the couple to publish, an excerpt from the interview process follows. 

Tell us something significant about your relationship that brings you joy and peace about your future together? 

From Rebekah: “Ryan is the best man I know. We are self-aware, always working on ourselves, and we know keeping God first is the only thing that can truly sustain love.” 

What do you each love and admire about the other? 

From Rebekah: “I admire Ryan for his heart of gold. He carries such integrity and kindness, but these are not without true bravery. I can remember back to my earliest memory of him and thinking, ‘Wow, he is so genuine.’ That came from him simply asking how I was. I knew he meant it when he asked. He’s also wild and adventurous, a kid at heart. He’s truly the best man I have ever known. It just so happens though, that I also find him very handsome!” 

From Ryan: “Two major things come to mind (among many). When we were dating, it was obvious to me Bekah was a woman of passion for the calling on her life and for family. I love to see her eyes light up as she talks about her vision for the future and the family that will be a part of it. Talking about her dreams makes her come alive and all those who listen come alive. The other aspect I admire so much is her relentless dedication to love those closest to her. I have not only seen this in how she treats her friends, but also in her deep love for her pets. I have never met someone more committed to quality time and just being with her family and friends. If Bekah has set her heart to love you, then you will never find a friend more loyal, affectionate and giving. Her amazing visions for the future and her committed love leave me with nothing but thankfulness because I get to count her as my partner on the journey.”

How, when and where did you two meet? 

From Rebekah: “We originally met in 2014, while working at the same sports and outdoors store. I grew up in the area and Ryan was there for college. It was over the summer before I started nursing school. We only shared two very short conversations during that time. Despite how short those two moments were, I remember one in particular very clearly. I was walking by where he was working, and he looked up with the most honest eyes and said, ‘Hi, Bekah, How are you doing?’. Nothing special about that question it would seem, but I had never heard it said in a more sincere way before. It would be a few years before I’d ever see him again or reconnect with him, but I always remembered that moment. It was burned into my memory. It’s funny the impact a little kindness and sincerity can have.” 

When was your first date? 

From Rebekah: “After working together, three years went by. Although we had several mutual friends in the same friend group, not once did we ever run into each other in our little town. We hadn’t seen each other, thought about each other, and despite a social media connection, we didn’t even see each other on our feeds. It was radio silence for over 3 years. I like to think that this was really important. We had a lot of growing to do in that time personally, and grew we did. At the end of summer 2017 I had a strong feeling that someone really important was about to walk into my life. It was a premonition I couldn’t shake. But I also knew that in one year I’d be leaving the Midwest. At the time I didn’t know where I would be going; I just knew it was time to go.” 

“Then it happened. One day in late September I was lazily scrolling through social when a picture popped up on my feed. I looked closely, then a little closer; I definitely creeped on his profile. This man, who hadn’t crossed my mind in years, just popped back into my reality, and as I glanced through his profile, I made a very silly but honest conclusion. 

I quietly said, ‘God I want someone like that.’ 

I thought nothing of it and went on with life. But one week later I get a message notification in my inbox. I couldn’t believe it; it was Ryan! I was a little surprised and had no expectations, but I kept up with the then growing conversation. As it turned out, he was moving back to California. That news alone solidified the fact that I definitely had no expectations. I told him California was an option on my list for moving next year, but if I went, I was going to NorCal. Naturally, he used that as a segue to ask if I wanted to meet for coffee so he could tell me all about his home state. 

When September 29, 2017, came around, there wasn’t much talk of California. The conversation weighed heavily on our visions, dreams, and passions. We didn’t understand small talk. We never have. We started deep, from the inside-out. 

I found myself sitting across from a blue eyed dream. I can still remember asking myself, ‘Wait, do I like him? Oh my gosh, I like him. He’s beautiful. 

He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.’ And just like that, I fell in love. 

I’d never met a man that was “beautiful” like this. It wasn’t society’s watered down version of beauty. It was God’s version of beauty that the world had lost sight of long ago. And I was the lucky girl sitting across the table from him. I couldn’t believe it. Funny enough, I later learned he had originally come to look for me (before our coffee date) at an event he saw we were both invited to on social media. He wanted to ask me for coffee in person. However, I sadly did not go to that event. I’m so glad he didn’t quit pursuing me. He never has.” 

How did he propose? 

Over the months following our first date, Ryan moved back to California and we decided we didn’t want to do long distance. During that time, I’d made my decision to attend a ministry school in the fall in Redding, CA. I had told Ryan that my favorite place was there, on the lake in the mountains. After a business trip brought Ryan back to Kansas City, Missouri in January 2018, we had the most magical date in a classic jazz bar. I’d been pretty reserved with Ryan up until that point. But that night I got really passionate about something I believed in when he mentioned something I disagreed with. 

He says, ‘that was the moment I knew.’ 

He slid over to my side of the booth and asked, 

‘How can we make this work?’ 

We made the decision to make it work, even though it went against our rule book. Long distance would be hard, but we later found it actually made us very intentional with one another. Three months later, we were driving up the state of California to Redding. We were looking for housing and a job for me since we knew we were going to get married and attend the ministry school together. We left with both. 

The night we arrived there, we wanted to go to my favorite spot. I had to show him. But he already had plans of his own. We drove up into the mountains to the lake, and we took a dirt trail that led us up to the edge of Lake Shasta with Mount Shasta hanging in the background. The green mountains below here set the backdrop as the sun began to set. Ryan set up his phone in a crevice of a rock, saying he wanted a photo. I insisted on showing him how to work the 10 second timer. But he quickly changed it to video and before I could ask why he did that, he said, “Because actually the real reason…”. He didn’t get much further before I let out a shriek of surprise and excitement. Although we’d been doing some wedding planning, he caught me completely by surprise for our official engagement. We spent the rest of the evening at a nice restaurant and dreamed about the big day.